Shawna Denney is a survivor.
“To this day, I don’t have the greatest self-esteem because of what my past partners have put me through,” said Shawna, a member of the local union’s Women’s Issues Network (WIN). “Physical abuse—you can see the bruises and the scratches a lot of the time, but emotional abuse is harder to see.”
During a relationship, Shawna said it is oftentimes hard for victims to realize what they are experiencing is abuse.
“Be aware of how your partner speaks to you and how they treat you, and if they isolate and try to control you,” she said. “When I was young, one of my first boyfriends was abusive. At first, I thought it was normal because I didn’t have anything to compare the relationship to. As the relationship went on, I realized this was not right.”
Intimate partner violence can take place in relationships, common-law partnerships and marriages. It affects opposite sex and same-sex couples. This violence can take the form of physical, sexual, emotional, financial abuse and neglect.
Emotional abuse happens when words are used to control, scare, isolate and undermine someone’s self-esteem, according to the Government of Canada. It can include one or more of the following: threats, put downs, namecalling, criticism, yelling, controlling, bullying, humiliation, jokes at a partner’s expense, comments about a person’s appearance, anger that is frightening, intimidation and destruction of belongings.
Since these behaviours are mixed with moments of normalcy, love-bombing and attention, emotional abuse becomes hard to recognize and address.
“Emotional abuse made me feel worthless,” Shawna said. “Emotional abuse scars you inside your brain. They are hard to heal.”
Every year, Shawna and members of WIN observe the 16 Days of Activism against Gender-Based Violence from November 25 to December 10. Together, the union raises awareness to help end violence against women and children.
WIN members said many misconceptions and falsehoods exist about genderbased violence, including that abuse is only physical, the victims are at fault, women always have the choice to leave, abuse is a private matter and there is no hope of escape.
“To women who are facing abuse, I would tell them it is not their fault, they are worthy and loved,” said Anita Hurley, a member of WIN and a local union Executive Board Vice President. “You are important, and you matter.”
When intimate partner violence occurs, it does not often get reported because victims are ashamed and afraid that they won’t be believed or because they are led to believe that the incident is not serious enough to seek help.
Abusers often try to deny, dismiss or minimize their actions, acting like they are the victim.
The consequences of emotional abuse can include depression and anxiety, impacting the victim’s physical and mental health.
“You are not alone and there is hope,” said Natasha Grey, a member of WIN and a local union Executive Board Vice President. “There is a way out. We are here to help you and we believe in you.
Toronto Police report between 17,000 and 19,300 incidents of intimate partner violence take place every year.
In Peel Region, more than 16,000 incidents occurred in 2023. In Ottawa, more than 6,600 cases of intimate partner violence were reported for 2024. In London, there were about 1,400 cases for 2024.
While physical and sexual violence remain underreported due to stigma, fear and misconceptions, emotional abuse incidents often go unreported.
“If you are facing any form of abuse, reach out for help,” Shawna said.
WIN members urge workers experiencing abuse, to reach out to family, friends, counsellors, therapists, or shelters.
“Gender-based violence is unacceptable and we must do everything in our power to support victims and survivors,” said President Wayne Hanley. “I encourage all members to observe the 16 Days of Activism against Gender-Based Violence. Together, let’s build a safer world for all women and children.”
Resources
Peel Committee Against Women Abuse
UFCW Canada Resource on Sexual Harrasement at Work
Final Report on the National Inquiry on Missing and Murdered Indigenous Women and Girls
